My Christmas Post..a little late

I remember coming home on Christmas eve last year with my two day old son and sitting under the Christmas tree in awe that I was holding MY child. I couldn't help but think about Mary, mother of Jesus, a lot. So long ago she was doing something so similar to me and holding her baby boy...probably not in front of a tree decorated with ornaments and lights.

 When Gideon was only a couple days old he was put in the hospital with severe jaundice and possible brain damage because of such high levels of bilirubin in his blood. As a hormonal, women who just gave birth, and a new mom I was scared to death of even the thought of losing my son. I was struck again by Mary. She sat and held her newborn son, filled with joy and excitement, just like me..but oh what was to come. Her son would be killed an awful and unjust death for the lives of so many undeserving people. Wow, how heart-wrenching. Especially for a parent and a new one at that.

As I sat there holding my sick newborn son and thinking about these things, I was filled with thankfulness. One, for my son's life right now. That he can be treated and should recover fully. That he's alive. And that he's been gifted to me.

Two, for Mary. For the lessons I can learn from her on motherhood and suffering.

And three, Jesus. He came to die. He came for the purpose of dying. What?! My mind is boggled. The reason for his life was me? How can that be? What have I done? What can I do? I'm struck. Struck my true, self sacrificing, perfect love. His Father created him, sent him to earth, and for the purpose of him dying a cruel death so that I can live. Forever. With Him.

So this Christmas season, I held my son (and the baby in my womb) close. I thanked the Lord again for Jesus, His life and His death. And I was again struck by the true love of Jesus and gratefulness for my children and their lives.